


Friends and Lovers

by Iniren



Category: Star Trek: The Next Generation
Genre: F/M, Friends to Lovers, Friendship, Friendship/Love, Jealousy
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-06-04
Updated: 2019-06-04
Packaged: 2020-04-07 14:48:53
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 5
Words: 4,767
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19087237
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Iniren/pseuds/Iniren
Summary: Dr. Crusher takes a temporary assignment, makes and helps a new friend while making an old friend jealous.Set just after Star Trek: Insurrection. I think I fudged the timeline a bit so Voyager has already made to home.





	1. Chapter 1

The hologram was frustrated, Voyager had returned home, but it wasn't his home. He had enjoyed the celebrations and watching his comrades greet loved ones after their long absence, but now things had died down and they were gone to new assignments. He wasn't quite sure what to do. He considered practicing medicine, but Medical said he technically was only authorized for emergency use. 

 

Honestly he didn't quite fit anywhere. Not really an Starfleet officer other than having been programmed as one. There was that first night home after the debriefing where everybody was assigned temporary quarters except him.Captain Janeway had at least secured him an office space to park his mobile emitter,but until that was secured, he was bounced from his crew mates' different apartments.It came just in time as they were all being re-assigned or on extended leave with families and loved ones.

 

Since he had no current occupation and people had been interested in Voyager's Delta quadrant adventures, he gave lectures about them, but now interest was waning. Without a purpose and his only family, he was frustrated and lonely. He spent much of his time with Lt. Barclay, but he had his own duties and even with his boundless enthusiasm with holograms, time with him became wearying.

 

=======

"Jean-Luc, I'm taking a temporary assignment at Starfleet Medical. Admiral Lee is wanting me to fill in for about 3 months." 

 

"Admiral Lee? Family wedding, isn't it and a little time off?"

 

"Yes, there's something else. She's planning to retire in a few years. She wants me to consider taking over then."

 

"Heading Medical? You didn't like it last time. What brought all this on?"

 

"Well, they've restructured since then, the position will be largely heading the medical school and coordinating research projects. Its not the PADD pushing and reports it was last time, Wesley doesn't need me and..." giving him a pointed look, "you're taking that extended shoreleave on Ba'ku."

 

"Oh."

 

He was embarrassed because she knew him so well. He'd already put limits on the relationship with Anij in the name of Starfleet and the security of Federation worlds, but still willing to dabble at love. Still he was annoyed she wouldn't be nearby and if she took the position later on, she wouldn't be around at all.

 

Beverly wasn't possessive by nature, but she didn't savor waiting around for him to get back from a metaphasic radiation-induced fling. In all honesty she was weary of waiting around for their respective willingness and apprehensions about their relationship to line up.A new adventure apart from him would challenge them both or at least let Beverly move on.

 

"Look it's just for 3 months, you won't even know I'm gone if you use all your shoreleave..." she paused and gently continued, "I know I'm just your friend and I hope things work out, but try to remember: you're - way - too - young for her."

 

He shot her a skeptical look. "There's something I never thought I'd hear. And you're not 'just' my friend. What if I need my doctor?"

 

"You'll be fine, you're a big grown up captain, Jean-Luc.Besides, it's a huge opportunity...and a promotion, at least temporarily."

 

"Well, as long as I don't have to salute you."

 

"With you never."

 


	2. Chapter 2

Upon arrival to Headquarters, Beverly was oriented to her duties during the assignment, met the faculty and staff, settled into her temporary lodgings. She'd been issued a comfortable apartment on theAcademy grounds but in a quieter section of the campus. The building was one of the older ones, but larger than the newer buildings. It had a lot of the modern conveniences but also the layout from when apartments had kitchens.

 

Admiral Lee entered it into the log that Doctor Beverly Crusher would be serving as Acting Admiral over the Medical Academy. Secretly Beverly liked the sound of 'Admiral Beverly Crusher,' but after so many years, she wondered if she really needed her married name. It had been so long ago and really she'd only been married a few years of her life. 

 

She also received an orientation to the staff and the syllabi of the classes she would be teaching for; entry level Comparative Exobiology, Ethical Considerations in Patient care, and an xenobiogy elective on Metabolic Considerations in Reptilian Species. It looked like the course schedule and staffing would allow for her to work on the medicinal plant catalog she'd started years before with Keiko O'Brien. 

 

She had a day or two before her actual duties started, which was helpful to acclimatize to time on Earth. She enjoyed walking up and down the steep city streets of San Francisco. It was still different than a holodeck despite the advances in the technology. She enjoyed the fresh air, the crisp foggy mornings that melted into bright afternoons.

 

On one of her walks she discovered a lecture at the San Francisco Opera House being given by the EMH of the recently returned USS Voyager. She was curious as she'd always felt medical practice could never really be duplicated by technology.She was even more intrigued by the title of the lecture, "Musical enrichment and its application in the care and development of non-biological life forms."

 

The lecture was sparsely attended by largely non-Starfleet individuals. She could hear snickers in the background and suspected at least a couple of cadets using the hall for more amorous activities.She saw a middle-aged man, his bald head rimmed with a fringe of dark hair. He seemed largely determined to finish the lecture despite some irritation at the audience's lack of attention. She felt rather badly for him because the topic was intriguing considering the author. The EMH was also well known for its personality quirks.

 

"And that concludes my lecture for this afternoon. Thank you for attending....(even if you didn't listen.)"

 

Beverly heard him muttering and smiled to herself. She decided to at least encourage himwith a kind word."Doctor, I really enjoyed your lecture. I found it very interesting and a little surprising."

 

Without look up he muttered, "Probably because I'm a hologram."

 

"No.Because there aren't too many non-biological life forms currently known. I'm not sure how much use...."

 

"Oh. Well there will be in sure," he interrupted excitedly, "There's myself and LtCmdr. Data. We currently have holograms with early levels of sentience; I know of one on DS9, and we encountered a population of holograms in the Delta quadrant fighting for independence." He brightened when he realized somebody had been actually listening. Even more so when he realized it wasn't some oddball that often wandered in, but an attractive redheaded Starfleet officer.

 

"That sounds very interesting. My name is Dr. Beverly Crusher, I'm..."

 

"Dr. Crusher of the Enterprise! I'm very happy to meet you. I read your paper on Barclay's protomorphosis syndrome and of your work on metaphasic shielding. It's not often I meet a colleague of such varied experiences."

 

"Well thank you, I guess my career has brought me into many interesting situations."

 

The two colleagues continued their discussions on music in medicine and other alternative therapies. Beverly shared about her current temporary assignment and promised she'd find out about his status. Also their schedules at Medical and plans to meet again sometime on campus. Both left the now deserted concert hall, pleasantly surprised to meet an amiable colleague.

 

=====

"Freeze program! No no no! Callas is using theatrics instead of clean vocal technique!"

 

"She's making an artistic choice as an actor. This performance as Violetta is heartbreaking..."

 

"...and her voice is too. Breaking my auditory processors."

 

"You're not being fair. Just because she isn't your precious Tebaldi, doesn't mean it's bad."

 

"Ugh! Computer play next selection."

 

The two friends sulking settled into their seats as the soft introduction began for the tenor's performance. They found a shared interest in theater and would spend an evening at least once a week. Sharing and discussing theatrical performances in the holosuites at the Academy recreation center. This week they had chosen favorite operatic selections, alternating between one another's favorites. When it came to opera, the two rarely agreed on the performances in their weekly outings, but both secretly enjoyed arguing their points for or against different performers. Now they quietly settled into rapt attention as the tenor began his first lines.

 

_ Una furtiva lagrima...Negli occhi suoi spunto.... _

 

"I love this one," they whisper together.

 

"Domingo really uses the music to full affect...the longing, his love, his hope."

 

"Yes and his voice is gorgeous. I have a soft spot for men with beautiful voices." Tears beginning to well in Beverly's eyes, they watched the rest silently. Her companion watched the tenor distractedly, his focus broken by the lovely sadness of the woman beside him. She silently wiped the tears that escaped her eyes, hoping her companion wouldn't notice.

 

"Doctor Crusher, are you alright?" hologram asked.

 

"I told you call me 'Beverly.'"

 

"Beverly, are you alright?"

 

"I'm fine. Remind me why we picked 'tragic lovers' as a theme for tonight?"

 

"As I recall 'love' was too broad and the other choices were 'desperate lovers, worthless lovers, doomed lovers, and ...'"

 

"I get the idea. Maybe this is enough for tonight."

 

"Sure. May I walk you back to your quarters?"

 

She nodded. The two gathered their things and shutdown the program. It was a short walk from the recreation center to Beverly's apartment. They walked together in the cool fog, oblivious to the cadets and other patrons. As they got to the quieter side of campus near her apartment, the Doctor gently spoke, "Beverly, I don't mean to pry but I feel like the tears were about more than the program. I feel like we've become close. If you ever feel like talking, I just want you to know I'll listen."

 

"Thank you, Doctor. I guess I'm probably just a little homesick, but I don't know for what. It's not like I have anybody waiting for me, but I feel like my heart is already occupied...oh I don't know." At some point of the evening, Beverly found herself feeling excruciatingly alone. Her thoughts wanderedfrom the current moment and into the past: Jean-luc on Ba'ku, the Enterprise-D, Nana, Wesley, Jack, her parents. Her companion silently walked waiting patiently for her to continue.

 

"On the mission to Ba'ku, the radiation of the planet made us younger, maybe I'm just feeling a re-bound effect: feeling older. Somehow being alone when you're younger wasn't so scary, but now it's hard.... Anyway, I'm a Howard woman. No feeling sorry for myself."

 

"Well don't be so hard on yourself. It's scary to be alone.On Voyager we were isolated, but we had one another, now they're home and the only home I've known is gone."

 

"I can't believe I'm getting a pep talk about my love life from a lonely hologram."

 

"It's not the first time, I've given one. I've had a few given to me. I don't have a lot of experience, but I've learned that everybody needs somebody."

 

They continued their walk quietly. Changing the subject he said, " They're thinking of making Voyager a museum. If they don't decide on my case, they'll probably reprogram me to give tours."

 

She scoffed, "We do make a pathetic pair, don't we? Well I'll be sure to visit you in the museum, if you have time for a lonely, old woman."

 

"Of course, I'll give you a special VIP after hours tour."

 

The two parted a little disappointed about life, but warmed by a pleasant evening.As she went inside her building, the hologram called out, "Beverly, for what it's worth, you're a beautiful woman and I... I feel blessed to spend time with you." 

 

He watched as she smiled warmly and went inside. She wasn't really his type, honestly he preferred blonds, but she was so warm, independent and creative. She treated him like an equal and it gave him hope that others would see him this way.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Placido Domingo does sing this aria beautifully. It's worth a listen.


	3. Chapter 3

Jean-Luc was bored. He'd been nearly two months on Ba'ku and initially enjoyed the quiet, slow pace of the settlement. He certainly enjoyed the long passionate nights with Anij, who seemed content with his company, but also not particularly enthralled by it. He was restless and it all felt indulgent to be there.

 

Initially he'd been content spending his days walking up and down the countryside, but disliked the futility of the activity and shifted in favor of repairing the damage caused by the battle with the So'na. Anij was focused on repairing the relationships with the So'na that had returned. Jean-Luc, while pleased by the reconciliation, had really no part in it other than to give occasional third-party perspective. 

 

One night, Anij found him alone looking at the stars. She knew the poor man was restless and homesick for his stars and his life."Jean-Luc, the repairs are coming along well ahead of schedule; a month more at most, with the pace you've set."

 

"Well, the your people are efficient and very skilled. Even the So'na that have returned. Oh I'm sorry... they are Ba'ku now."

 

"Yes, their bodies are responding well to the planet's radiation; their relationships as well. So with the repairs done to the settlement and our society, how much longer will you stay?"

 

"You know, don't you?" He asked softly, marveling at her insight. He knew she had wisdom and clarity, but it regularly caught him off guard.

 

"I know your life is calling you back," she replied.

 

Still staring at the sky, he answered absentmindedly, "She's not my wife, just my friend. Her husband and I served together."

 

"I said 'life,' not 'wife.' And I think she is not 'just' anything to you," she corrected him softly. Jean-Luc closed his eyes and felt his face flush. When he looked at her, she had a knowing smile on her face, both loving it and finding it terribly irritating. During their time together on Ba'ku, he had been intrigued by the clarity and calm confidence of a much older woman, but little by little it was wearing on him. She never challenged him just quiet agreement or if she disagreed, she did so the way a grandparent would with a small child. Gentle acceptance of the difference and assurance he would have to learn the hard way.

 

"You think I should go? Go back to my ship?"

 

"No. You should stay as long as you need."

 

"But?"

 

"But I think you know the answer." Anij though this man was endearing; full of principle, discipline, and strength, but his restlessness was frustrating. She had tried to teach him to savor the beautiful stillness of each moment and while he was an apt student in this, he was also a Starfleet Captain always thirsting for the next discovery. She knew he had a companion better suited to that life and had no qualms about releasing him to that.

 

"Very well, I'll stay until the repairs are finished."


	4. Chapter 4

"Doctor!" Beverly called out to her holographic friend. "I wish you could pick a name, calling 'Doctor!' at Starfleet Medical is really useless."

"Yes, Beverly, what were you going to tell me?"

"Yes. I received a notice that your hearing is scheduled in about two weeks."

"And they haven't told me," he was both angry and fearful. The fact that they hadn't included him, foretold their determination he wasn't a 'person' and that meant he was a piece of technology. Watching his reaction, the same thought dawned on Beverly, quickly she added, "Right! It means we have two weeks to build a case."

"And barge in uninvited?"

"If we have to. I know Captain Picard had to argue similarly for Data in 2365. They were able to earn him the freedom to choose and at least of sentience. There have to be other cases."

The two friends eagerly delved into discussion about the upcoming hearing. They found an eager cadet to help them do research in the case. They worked on contacting Capt. Janeway and other crew mates for their statements about his identity as an individual. He wasn't completely assured of success but was touched that he had a new friend working for him.

 

====  
Late one night working on his case, Beverly had fallen asleep amidst the PADDs and books on her coffee table. He had been so engrossed studying relevant case that he hadn't noticed her drift off. Doctor marveled in the sheer amount of focus and energy this woman possessed when she was passionate about something. Not requiring food himself, he made deliberate note to remind her to eat when she was so driven.

She jolted awake when the comm chirped. The Doctor motioned that he would get her some tea as he headed to the replicator. Shaking herself awake she pulled the unit closer to answer glancing at the time. She smiled to see her captain on the screen.

"Jean-Luc. I didn't expect to hear from you. Have you returned to the ship already?"

"No, not yet. I just wanted to check in with you."

"That's very sweet. I'm well, the work is challenging, but I have time for my side projects. The students are bright... oh Thank you," she said to the Doctor as she took a grateful sip. Jean-Luc was taken a back when he saw a man's hand enter the screen with a cup for her. Also how she held and squeezed that hand affectionately after taking the cup. She wasn't alone and quickly checking the time, he realized he'd called her just after 0100.

"Oh. I'm sorry, I didn't realize the time and you have ... company."

"We're working, Jean-Luc," she loved seeing him flustered and a mischievous thought came into her head. "Uh..Robert and I have been researching and preparing arguments for an upcoming hearing on defining the rights of artificial life forms. I just fell asleep. Working too many late nights."

"Sounds intriguing. Sorry to have bothered you. I'll let you get back to ...working." He was trying very hard to not look annoyed, but was failing. He could see she was trying not to look like she enjoyed it.

"Jean-Luc, I've fallen asleep on your couch many times...and we weren't even working." The smirk and overly innocent lilt in her voice caught the hologram off guard. Now he was trying not to look surprised by suddenly being named and by what she was implying.

"Very well then. I just wanted to let you know. The repairs on Ba'ku will be done in about a month. I'll be returning to the ship then."

"Ok, I'll see you then." Though she flinched ever so slightly at the mention of the planet, she ended the call purposely looking off screen at the Doctor and smiling sweetly as she turned off the comm unit. As soon as it was off, a broad smile of satisfaction spread across her face along with a stifled snicker.

"I would've never believed it possible," the hologram stated.

"What?"

"Did you single-handedly imply a romantic relationship with me, make the famous Captain of the Enterprise jealous and give me a name in that short exchange?"

"Yes, I guess I did. It was a little immature, but sooo funny."

"Id rather not comment on that, but why that name?"

"Robert sounded better than 'Bobby." Beverly blushed, suddenly remembering why she remembered Bobby. She continued, "He was the first boy who called me 'beautiful' and my first kiss." The hologram crisply answered, "That's an honor and I'd agree with him. You are beautiful."

"I meant to thank you for that, the night you walked me home. I was feeling very low and it helped. Honestly when I'd heard they'd made a holographic doctor, I really didn't think Zimmerman could do it. I was convinced the kindness, compassion, and intuition a physician would need couldn't be duplicated with technology. You have all this qualities for a doctor and as a friend."

"My original programming did have limitations, but I believe my experiences have expanded beyond those limitations. Truthfully, some of the biological surgeon's I've met could use some program expansions too...." The two laughed because they could think of many examples of bad bedside manner and socially limited physicians.

"So what happened to Bobby?"

A wash of sadness covered her face, "He died on Arvada. That's pretty much the story of my love life. Bobby, Jack, Odan. I'm a little afraid to get involved with anybody - little afraid I'm cursed."

"Superstitious. Would you wish to have never have met them?"

"No, but I'm just not ready to lose somebody again."

The Doctor felt it best to leave now he gathered his things and as he left said, "Beverly, I hope you find somebody. Getting to know you over these months, I think it would be a waste for somebody not to love you. I know you don't feel anything for me in that way, but count me as one of your friends and definitely an admirer."

"Likewise. Friends and perhaps co-conspirator. Goodnight."

Little did the friends know a certain captain was sulking alone on a planet far away. Youthful jealousy undoubtedly stirred up by the planet's radiation.


	5. Chapter 5

The final weeks of her assignment flew by for Beverly. The hearing relatively successful. They wouldn't fully allow the Doctor to be declared a "person," but in line with prior rulings he was not declared "property" and was granted freedom to choose. He was also granted authority to work as a physician in Starfleet clinics and facilities provided he also agree to work with the Daystrom Institute's Captain Maddox on his work of sentience technology.

The Doctor couldn't help being pleased with the ruling though he still anticipated challenges with being accepted. Still the fact that Dr. Crusher overcame her own misgivings gave him hope. The two friends met for a final meal together and a walk to the transport hub.

"I imagine you're ready to get back to your ship and ... crew."

"Yes. I've missed it and you're right I've missed ... the crew."

The two stopped with that line of conversation. It wasn't needed. They both knew she needed to sort out what she wanted and at least a hard conversation was in order. Beverly hadn't realized how much she missed Jean-Luc until she felt the flutter of anticipation going home. She knew he'd likely be cross from that late night call, but she also knew they'd work it out. They had gone through so much together and always worked it out.

"Beverly, the next time, you're at Headquarters, come visit or rather keep in touch. Especially since we know I won't be giving tours in the museum."

"I will, Robert, especially since you may change your name again."

"No, for you I'll always be Robert."

"Alright, I'll see you around." She was about to leave, but paused and kissed the Doctor. "It's not a first kiss, nor the last. Thank you." The two friends hugged and she boarded the shuttle. They both gave a little wave and smile, both satisfied with their friendship and that they had helped one another through their respective bumps in life.

======  
Jean-Luc fidgeted in his seat on the bridge. Deanna could sense his discomfort all mixed in with anticipation of his CMO's return. She said nothing, knowing it would only make him more determined to stay on the bridge. She made some excuse about seeing a patient and not being able to greet Beverly. She asked if the captain could give her the message, since it was nearly the end of his shift anyway. It was all the excuse needed and he was off to the transporter room.

When the doctor materialized, looking happy and refreshed from the change of scenery, the captain was a little disappointed. He'd half hoped she would look exhausted from the trip and he could convince himself, he didn't need her. Unfortunately for him, she looked radiant.

"Well hello, Captain."

"Welcome back, Doctor. The crew has missed you."

"I've missed them, I'm glad to be reporting back for duty."

"Counselor Troi sends her apologies, she had a scheduling conflict and wasn't able to meet you."

They were being unusually formal with one another. Those closest to them knew this would happen when there was some tension between them. They also knew the sooner the two could be alone, the sooner they would work it out, which is why the Counselor had sent the captain to meet her. She'd been sensing the captain's confusion about his CMO, since he returned from the planet.

They walked briskly to her quarters. Once in her quarters, they began spoiling for a good argument.

"Jean-Luc, what's the matter? Aren't you able to admit you're glad I'm home?"

"What do you mean? Because I didn't fawn all over you, you think I don't care?"

"No, but you are holding something back. Did she think you were too young?"

"Worse she thought I was 'cute' like a child. I'm too old for that. I think she was bored, I was too. She never disagreed, never felt like giving an opinion."

"You missed arguing with me? I missed you too and she's right you are cute," she said as she stepped forward for a hug. He pulled back though. "Oh. What's the matter?"

"Don't you think your Robert might mind?"

"No, we're friends just like I told you. Jealous?" then she thought about how it was in large part through her little joke he was feeling this way, gently she continued, "I'm sorry about that, I let you think there was something, but there wasn't. Then again I don't see why you should be jealous, it's not like we're seeing each other."

He scoffed, "No, but it's not nothing. I was angry, I thought if you had somebody there, you wouldn't come back."

"And you're right, if I had somebody, I may not, but it looks like neither of us is ready to change that." That statement cut him like a knife.

"I tried after Kes-Prytt, but you said, 'No.' After that nothing changed, other than a kiss in a reality that doesn't exist anymore."

"So you're angry that I wasn't ready then and that I don't remember something I did in a different reality? What about you? I get to watch you start relationships with women you have no intention of sticking with; Vash, Kamala, Nella, Anij. I'm not going to be one of them."

"You wouldn't be, never." He was convicted and hurt. Not just because of the evidence she'd herself witnessed, but all the others he remembered. It made him sick that she felt she would be counted among them. "Did you ever think maybe I didn't want them because I wanted you for good? I don't want to lose you, Beverly."

"I don't want to lose you either."

"Do you think I'd be so careless with you, so faithless?" She saw the thought genuinely hurt that she would think that of him.

"No, you misunderstand me. I'm afraid I'll lose you. The hostile planets, the Borg, alternate realities, Cardassian guls, Romulans, and who knows what else. I've lost a lot of people in my life, Jean-Luc. I don't know if I go through that again."

Then they both realized it wasn't that they didn't care, but they cared so much. He had told himself his life didn't have room for lasting love, love that would be fair to the other partner. She knew two lives could be intertwined in love, but also the pain of having that other life torn away. Seeing the tears welled up in her eyes, he realized the depths of her vulnerability in this. When she gave love, she didn't hold any back, so it made love a risky venture.

"Beverly," he said gently taking her hands, "you don't owe me anything in return, but please know I will always love you." He reached for her face and tipped her chin towards his. Kissing her gently on the lips, she let herself melt into his. Time seemed to slow and every sense seemed to crystallize reality in the most vivid and clear expression of itself.

"What's happening? What is that?" she asked.

"A trick I learned on Ba'ku."

"Remind me to thank her."

"I've learned a lot over the years. The most important is how precious love is and that it's worth the risks."

Both of them feeling love and passion welling up, they wrapped around each other in unguarded embrace and learned their lessons of love from one another.

**Author's Note:**

> I feel like a chapter with the hearing would have been nice but I was getting bored by then.


End file.
